ENOUGH WITH ALL THE FUCKING FOUL LANGUAGE ALREADY!

by Joe Buonfiglio

Well, it has happened again.  Several months ago, I was challenged by a friend to go an entire post to my Potpourri of the Damned blog without using any so-called “bad” words.  Having apparently slid back into “working blue,” so to speak, a different colleague has issued a similar challenge.  While it is my intent to pick up the gauntlet this White Knight of Goodness has thrown down before The Black Knight of Evil (AKA me), I readily admit that I am not happy about it.

Why?

I am a First Amendment purist.  As I frequently relate to anyone willing to lend me his or her ear, I contend that the same Constitution that protects the printing of the Bible also protects the printing of Hustler magazine.

“Whoa there, big fella,” you retort with a look of outright indignation.  “Hustler is a vulgar piece of obscene garbage, whereas the Bible is a good book; THE Good Book, as a matter of fact!”

Oh really?  Tell that to an Atheist.

This is one of our most precious freedoms, but it intentionally does not safeguard us from foul language and abhorrent concepts.  There is no such thing as a right to not be offended.  So right out of the gate, I feel the whole notion of purposefully avoiding bad words to be an act of absurdity and absolute bullshit.

Okay.  It looks like I fucking blew it right from the get-go.

See, there again.

All right, that doesn’t count.  I’m just warming up.  Gimme a do-over here and I’ll take another whack at it.  Here we go.

Most people don’t realize that these vehicles of expression that many in our society view as somehow degenerate in nature tend to come with a history of their own.  For example, when you scream “GOD DAMN IT!” you’re evoking a supreme supernatural power to literally condemn the someone or something that is the target of your ire to the fires of Hell for eternity.  This is why many consider such swearing to be blasphemous at best and the dark arts of witchcraft at worst.  Either way, there is a reason these things are called “curse words” and this is it. The use of other such “bad” words have ramifications of less-biblical proportions and tend to be rooted in archaic versions of various languages.

Did you catch that?  “Archaic.”  As in “ancient,” “outdated,” “old-fashioned,” “antiquated,” “outmoded” and, in other words, best left to another time.

Shit.  I just wrote “God damn it,” didn’t I?

God damn it.  I just wrote “shit”!

Look, let me take one last Mulligan here, okay?

Oh, come on.  Don’t be such as asshole.

Son of a bitch!

Anyway, “bad” words aren’t bad; they’re just words.  They are no more than fragments of a phonetic alphabet strung together.   If you’re offended by me saying or writing “fuck,” it’s because YOU gave that word power.  It has absolutely no inherent qualities or nature in and of itself to accomplish an attack on your sensibilities.  If “fuck” has any impact on you, it’s because it is given that muscle to push your emotional button by the fact that you installed that button yourself or gave society unfettered permission to install it for you.

It’s a word.

Just a word.

It wields no weapon.  It cannot throw you down a flight of stairs.  It cannot do you any harm whatsoever beyond your own self-generated perception of harm.

This has nothing to do with intent, however.  If a word is used to reinforce an intent to do you real harm, then that intent is the danger, not the word.  “I’m going to fucking kill you!” has the same intent as “I’m going to freakin’ kill you!” or “I’m going to fudging kill you!” or even “I’m going to birthday cake-ingly kill you!” if you’re about to be stabbed in the face.  The word used doesn’t matter if there is true anger and a desire to do physical harm behind it.

If we as a collective society decided that “paprika” was highly offensive, that would become the new curse word du jour that made us cringe and grimace upon its mere utterance in our presence.  If we all concluded that “shit” was a cute and cuddly thing, but baby dogs were an affront to our Puritan sensibilities, those young canines would be “puppy out of luck.”  If farts smelled like roses and roses smelled like crap…

Get the picture?

Hold on.

Wait a minute.

Did I just say—

MOTHERPAPRIKA!

 

© 2015 Joseph P. Buonfiglio     All Rights Reserved.

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4 thoughts on “ENOUGH WITH ALL THE FUCKING FOUL LANGUAGE ALREADY!

  1. Hehe…Motherpaprika. There’s no way in hell I’m adopting that! Maybe…maybe around that one woman at work who’s one step from dousing me with holy water. Yeah. Then I might steal it.

    I absolutely love and relate to this post. You rock.

  2. Loved this, I strughle with the “Should I Say Fuck, F*ck, or something more PG but similar” on social networking, I want to be myself but at the same time I don’t want to scar my image for potential clients or buyers of my photos. I’m a woman from the south so to some it’s not appropriate at all. Even though my choice of language has nothing to do with my talent as a photographer.

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