By JOE BUONFIGLIO

THE POST-APOCALYPTIC DINING GUIDE: An End-of-Days Search for American Haute Cuisine and the Meaning of Human Existence

An Absurd Novel

EVENT OMEGA. The end of civilization. The end of the world. The end of everything. But hey, you still gotta eat. In the world back when there was a world, Rupert Viandy masterfully contributed nothing of any real value to his fellow man. He is devoid of any talent whatsoever…save one. Viandy is exceptional at the art of food; not preparing it, but critiquing it, judging it, depicting all its various nuances in vivid, yet readily comprehensible detail. Then, when he is at the top of his game, the whole planet goes to…. While the remnants of humankind switch into a bizarre mode of animalistic insanity, Rupert begins his quest to return the state of things to some modicum of civilization the only way he knows how: one restaurant review at a time. As Viandy moves from End Times’ restaurateur to restaurateur, his continual encounters with one camouflaged culinary horror after another are Theatre of the Absurd worthy of the deviant evil that waits within the turducken at Gushi Sushi. “I feel as if I have made a Faustian deal with the Devil and all I traded for my soul were some overcooked cocktail weenies.” THE POST-APOCALYPTIC DINING GUIDE drops you into a realm of pure madness. The humor comes from a dark place…a really dark place. The tale is completely absurd and the events downright shocking. Who knew the end of civilization could be so much fun!

ABSURDIST-HUMOR Author

Joe Buonfiglio

Somewhere between Sci-Fi/Fantasy and outright Bizarro, Slipstream Absurdist-Humor author Joe Buonfiglio lurks in the shadows waiting to strike. He’s that anomalous laughter coming from the back of your uncle’s funeral wake. Joe’s worldview melds into his writing; he embraces the random chaos of the universe that manifests in a type of humor that lampoons anyone or anything even attempting to create some semblance of order from it all. If there is any Intelligence behind the Design, Joe is fairly certain It’s gone completely mad. An award-winning journalist and commentary writer, Buonfiglio’s literary style has been described as “ribald academia that emerges from a dark place” and “locker-room intelligentsia laced with the tears of polite society.” You’ll find you are laughing at the literary tapestry he weaves, and yet, at the same time, ashamed of yourself for having done so. To experience more of Joe Buonfiglio’s strange approach to both humor and literature (not to mention life), as well as encounter his “unblog” Potpourri of the Damned, go to his website at JoeBuonfiglio.com.

What people are saying about

“THE POST-APOCALYPTIC DINING GUIDE”

and its author, Joe Buonfiglio

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     I’ve known Joe Buonfiglio for over 100 years (dog years, that is) and except for occasional bouts of howling at the moon and dining on cat tartare (and without Worcestershire sauce!) Joe is absolutely, 100 percent, yessirreebob the one guy you want to avoid at all costs if you don’t want the screaming meemies stomach cramps…from laughing.  

         Gregor Samsa goes to sleep one night and wakes up a cockroach.  Mildly funny.  Arthur Dent hitchhikes across the galaxy in a series of picaresque adventures.  Amusing.  But reading Joe Buonfiglio is like having a Space X Falcon Heavy shoved up your lowest orifice and launching you into the absurdosphere.  He makes Hunter S. Thompson look like a pussy.

         “Humorous” is too narrow a word to describe “THE POST-APOCALYPTIC DINING GUIDE.”  Shriekingly funny.  Wildly imaginative. Gut-wrenchingly bizarre if not downright offensive, Buonfiglio’s hapless, if not stomach-dead Rupert Viandy is doomed to join that elite brotherhood of absurdist heroes.  Who else can compare to such comestible, existential wit as “Seriously, should your cheesy-fries outlive you?” I mean, really, how can you top that?

         Actually…Joe does a few pages later.  So buy the book.  You’ll see.

         And stop standing here in the friggin’ aisle reading it for free.  Man up! March up to the cash register and shout, “I’m loud and absurd!” and throw down your plastic.

         Then beat it before the cops come.

— Chris Ruppenthal, Producer and Writer, known for Sledge Hammer!, Quantum Leap (3 Emmy nominations), X-Files, Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman and The Outer Limits

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     My name is Mary Buonfiglio.  I am the author’s wife.  I love my husband. He is a kind, generous, smart, funny person…with the most twisted imagination on the planet.  Seriously, he has a bad brain.  Please, I implore you, if you have a shred of decency in your soul; steer clear of my husband’s book.

         I hate this book.

         Don’t read it.

— Mary Buonfiglio, the author’s spouse

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     To begin with, Buonfiglio is a nut job.  I’ve known the guy since we were kids.  We grew up together.  He had some really fucked-up habits that I won’t go into right now, ’cause I’m writing this over breakfast and I don’t want to start puking on my toast.  But now, there’s this book he wrote –– this futuristic apocalyptic Zagat-esque guide of the damned or something –– some guy telling you how to survive on a diet of canned anthrax and rat’s blood soufflés?  (The future really sucks, by the way!)     Anyway, man, it’s out there, you know?  Really twisted.  A view of the future that’s as stomach-churning as it is hilarious.  My point is that sane, normal folks should keep clear of this madness.  As for the rest of you — well, you’re on your own.  But don’t say you weren’t warned. 

— Paul Austin Kelly, Singer, Composer, Teacher, Fellow Absurdist

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